Pudsey Bear
Full Member
- Messages
- 10,120
When is a pixie not a pixie?
When he's got his head up a fairy's skirt, then he's a goblin'.
What do you get if you cross a pit bull with a hooker?
Your last blowjob.
How do you make a dog drink?
Put it in a liquidizer.
What do you do if your boiler explodes?
Buy her some flowers.
What is the definition of Confidence?
When your wife catches you in bed with another woman & you slap
her on the ass & say, "You're next!"
What's the difference between a ***** & a whore?
A whore sleeps with everybody at the party, & a ***** sleeps
with everybody at the party except you.
What's the difference between love, true love & showing off?
Spitting, swallowing & gargling
What 3 words do you dread most while making love?
"Honey, I'm home."
How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
The cake jumps out of the girl.
What's somewhat brown & often found in children's underpants?
Michael Jackson's hand.
Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
Because everybody who can run, jump & swim are already in the
US.
Why don't they teach highway code & sex education on the same
day in Iraq?
They don't want to wear out the camel.
How do little boys at Michael Jackson's ranch know when it is
bedtime?
When the big hand touches the little hand...
What's the definition of a Yankee?
Same thing as a "quickie", only you do it yourself.
How can you tell if a valentine card is from a leper?
The tongue's still in the envelope.
When he's got his head up a fairy's skirt, then he's a goblin'.
What do you get if you cross a pit bull with a hooker?
Your last blowjob.
How do you make a dog drink?
Put it in a liquidizer.
What do you do if your boiler explodes?
Buy her some flowers.
What is the definition of Confidence?
When your wife catches you in bed with another woman & you slap
her on the ass & say, "You're next!"
What's the difference between a ***** & a whore?
A whore sleeps with everybody at the party, & a ***** sleeps
with everybody at the party except you.
What's the difference between love, true love & showing off?
Spitting, swallowing & gargling
What 3 words do you dread most while making love?
"Honey, I'm home."
How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
The cake jumps out of the girl.
What's somewhat brown & often found in children's underpants?
Michael Jackson's hand.
Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
Because everybody who can run, jump & swim are already in the
US.
Why don't they teach highway code & sex education on the same
day in Iraq?
They don't want to wear out the camel.
How do little boys at Michael Jackson's ranch know when it is
bedtime?
When the big hand touches the little hand...
What's the definition of a Yankee?
Same thing as a "quickie", only you do it yourself.
How can you tell if a valentine card is from a leper?
The tongue's still in the envelope.