Adult nursery rhymes

[Deleted member 2520]

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
The structure of the wall was incorrect
So he got £100,000 compensation via Claims Directl

Its raining its pouring its all down to global warming

Jack and Gill went into town
to get some chips and sweeties
Now he can't get his heart rate down
and she has got diabetes

Georgie Porgie pudding and pie
kissed the girls and made then cry
when the boys came out to play
he kissed them to because he was gay

Mary had a little lamb
it bumped into a pylon
10,000 volts zapped its arse
and turned its wool to nylon

 

[Burgo]

Mary had a little bike
She rode it on the grass
Every time the wheel went round
A spoke went up her arse.

 

[ken sowerby]

Jack & Jill went up the hill
to fetch a pale of water
Jill came down with Half a crown (12.5p)
but not for carrying water

 

[ken sowerby]

Mary had a little lamb
its fleece was black as soot
and everywhere that Mary went
its sooty foot it put

 

[ken sowerby]

Under these stones
lies Mary Jones
but please dont make a blunder
as these are not the only stones
that Mary Jones lay under

 

[SimonM]

Roses are red-ish
Violets are blue-ish
If it wasn't for Christmas
We'd all be Jewish

 

[Lorraine]

Roses are red
Your blood is too
You look like a monkey
And belong in a zoo
Do not worry I'll be there too
Not in the cage But laughing at you!