If you receive an e-mail with “Ding Dong” in the subject line, don’t open it. It’s the Jehovah’s Witnesses working from home.
In Tesco yesterday saw a little old lady wrestling with a couple of guys for the last of the toilet roll. So I ran across to help. She had no chance against the three of us.
A man collapsed on the London Eye. Medics say he is slowly coming round.
People should not cough near you. They should cough far away. If you hear someone coughing, tell them to far cough.
Our cleaning lady just called to tell us she will be working from home and will send us instructions on what to do.
I was in the queue this morning at the post office when three men burst in wearing masks. PANIC!!! Then they said “This is a robbery” and we all calmed down.
Self-isolating at home is not at all boring. For example, I discovered that one bag of rice had 7,456 grains while the other only had 7,429.
This stupid panic buying is ridiculous. I’ve just been charged £15 for Oxo cubes. The stock market’s gone crazy!
