Pudsey Bear
Full Member
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On their first trip from the city, a pair of hunters
were out in the woods when one of them suddenly
collapsed. He didn't appear to be breathing and
his eyes looked lifeless. The other hunter quickly
called the emergency services on his mobile phone.
He gasped to the operator: 'My friend is dead. What should I do?"
In a reassuring voice, the operator said: 'Okay,
stay calm. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.'
The operator heard silence, then the sound of a
gunshot. The hunter's voice came back on the line.
'Okay. Now what?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two men were riding down the road on a motorcycle.
The driver was wearing a leather jacket with a
broken zip and eventually he stopped to tell his
pillion passenger: 'I can't drive any longer with the
cold wind hitting me in my chest.' So he decided to
put the jacket on backwards to guard against the
onrushing wind chill.
They set off again but a mile further on he took
a corner too fast and smashed into a tree. A farmer
who lived nearby was first on the scene.
Shortly afterwards a police car pulled up. Looking
at the wreckage, the police officer asked the farmer:
'Are either of them showing any signs of life?"
Well,' said the farmer, 'the first one was until I
turned his head around the right way.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A lawyer was reading out the will of a wealthy man to
all of the people mentioned in the document.
"To you, my loving wife Susan who stood by me
through thick and thin, I leave you the house and
three million dollars. To my darling daughter Becky
who looked after me when my health failed and never
once complained, I leave you my yacht, the business
and one million dollars. And to my brother Neville who
argued with me constantly, hated my guts and thought
that I would never mention him in my will
well you were wrong. Hi, Neville!'
were out in the woods when one of them suddenly
collapsed. He didn't appear to be breathing and
his eyes looked lifeless. The other hunter quickly
called the emergency services on his mobile phone.
He gasped to the operator: 'My friend is dead. What should I do?"
In a reassuring voice, the operator said: 'Okay,
stay calm. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.'
The operator heard silence, then the sound of a
gunshot. The hunter's voice came back on the line.
'Okay. Now what?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two men were riding down the road on a motorcycle.
The driver was wearing a leather jacket with a
broken zip and eventually he stopped to tell his
pillion passenger: 'I can't drive any longer with the
cold wind hitting me in my chest.' So he decided to
put the jacket on backwards to guard against the
onrushing wind chill.
They set off again but a mile further on he took
a corner too fast and smashed into a tree. A farmer
who lived nearby was first on the scene.
Shortly afterwards a police car pulled up. Looking
at the wreckage, the police officer asked the farmer:
'Are either of them showing any signs of life?"
Well,' said the farmer, 'the first one was until I
turned his head around the right way.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A lawyer was reading out the will of a wealthy man to
all of the people mentioned in the document.
"To you, my loving wife Susan who stood by me
through thick and thin, I leave you the house and
three million dollars. To my darling daughter Becky
who looked after me when my health failed and never
once complained, I leave you my yacht, the business
and one million dollars. And to my brother Neville who
argued with me constantly, hated my guts and thought
that I would never mention him in my will
well you were wrong. Hi, Neville!'