Tezza33
Full Member
- Messages
- 1,619
A few old ones
I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in
front of a train. He was chuffed to bits.
I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a coffin... 3 hours later and they're still walking about with it...
I thought to myself, they have lost the plot!!
A new middle east crisis erupted last night as Dubai Television was refused permission to broadcast 'The Flintstones'. A spokesman for the channel said....
'A claim was made that people in Dubai would not understand the humour, but we know for a fact that people in Abu Dhabi Do.'
I was at a cashpoint yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check
her balance. Not being one to disappoint I pushed the old dear over.
Maggy was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her some bathroom scales.
A Scottish paedophile has raised a dispute with eBay.
He claims that the Wii GameBoy he received isn't what he was expecting.
I was driving this morning when I saw an RAC van parked up. The driver was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable. I thought to myself 'that guy's heading for a breakdown'.
I was at a wedding party the other day when someone yelled out " for all the married people, stand next to the one person who has made it all worth while"
the poor bartender was crushed to death!
I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in
front of a train. He was chuffed to bits.
I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a coffin... 3 hours later and they're still walking about with it...
I thought to myself, they have lost the plot!!
A new middle east crisis erupted last night as Dubai Television was refused permission to broadcast 'The Flintstones'. A spokesman for the channel said....
'A claim was made that people in Dubai would not understand the humour, but we know for a fact that people in Abu Dhabi Do.'
I was at a cashpoint yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check
her balance. Not being one to disappoint I pushed the old dear over.
Maggy was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her some bathroom scales.
A Scottish paedophile has raised a dispute with eBay.
He claims that the Wii GameBoy he received isn't what he was expecting.
I was driving this morning when I saw an RAC van parked up. The driver was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable. I thought to myself 'that guy's heading for a breakdown'.
I was at a wedding party the other day when someone yelled out " for all the married people, stand next to the one person who has made it all worth while"
the poor bartender was crushed to death!
