Lower forms of life.

SquirrellCook

Full Member

Messages
426
Would you believe that with Murky parked in the drive with the right hand side against a fence, some low life entered our neighbours garden. Ignored their cctv that is obviously not watched. Reached behind the fence and removed our lower fridge vent winter cover. Ignoring the older slightly damaged one above it that was easier to remove. As I get older and with no provisions for my old age, there will be a time that I will take action into my own hands to ensure a long prison sentence, as apparently you are looked after better than the average care home.
 

Red Dwarf

Full Member

Messages
1,115
Back in the nineties I stayed with my Yankee cousin in Colorado Springs.
He showed me around his house, ending up at ‘my’ bedroom. Pointed out the shower etc and ended up with showing me my gun! I explained that I didn’t want a gun under my pillow, he said I must, I ended up with a baseball bat next to the bed to keep my cousin happy. He walked away muttering ‘goddam limey....’
Colorado has something called the ‘make my day’ law. This means you can shoot someone who enters your property without permission and then ask them to leave.
So, with the law, my ex special forces cousin, his three seven foot tall fitness fanatic sons, his wife’s collection of toy poodles and a very jet lagged limey with a baseball bat, two scrotes decided to break in.
By the time I was out of bed dragging the bat behind me, the two idiot lads were kneeling on the drive with my cousin and his sons explaining to them the error of their ways. What was really interesting was that no one got shot and the lads were pleading that the police weren’t called, much preferring what my cousin might dish out. If the police were called they’d be definitely doing time.
So, even with all these scary deterrents, stupid scrotes will still try and take from you....
 

Annsman

Full Member

Messages
19
Would you believe that with Murky parked in the drive with the right hand side against a fence, some low life entered our neighbours garden. Ignored their cctv that is obviously not watched. Reached behind the fence and removed our lower fridge vent winter cover. Ignoring the older slightly damaged one above it that was easier to remove. As I get older and with no provisions for my old age, there will be a time that I will take action into my own hands to ensure a long prison sentence, as apparently you are looked after better than the average care home.
You are mis-informed if you seriously believe that you are better off in prison than a care home! I’d do some proper research before carrying out your plan! 🤔😉
 

Scotia

Full Member

Messages
248
So you suggest some minor sentences first, before going for the big one?
My mechanic spent some time in prison on the I.O.M. for something that he forgot was in his pocket from the previous summer, he called it death by pudding. 😂
 

Annsman

Full Member

Messages
19
So you suggest some minor sentences first, before going for the big one?
Oh yes! Easy yourself in with a few minor post office jobs, then move up to a bank, or a train, that promises a good long stretch, (although on the plus side, you will get a film made about your life!), then go for the "big M"! You could try becoming a corrupt politician. You get the perks, cash, holidays and a decent sex life, with virtually no chance of any comebacks! Cynic? Moi? ;):LOL:
 
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