These Notes Were Left in Milk Bottles :

[Lorraine]

• Please send me details about cheap milk as I am stagnant.
• Dear milkman I've just had a baby, please leave another one.
• Please leave an extra pint of paralysed milk.
• Milk is needed for the baby. Father is unable to supply it.
• Please don't leave any more milk. All they do is drink it.
• Milkman, please close the gate behind you because the birds keep pecking the tops off the milk.
• Milkman, please could I have a loaf but not bread today.
• Please cancel milk. I have nothing coming into the house but two sons on the dole.
• Sorry not to have paid your bill before, but my wife had a baby and I've been carrying it around in my pocket for weeks.
• Sorry about yesterday's note. I didn't mean one egg and a dozen pints, but the other way round.
• When you leave my milk knock on my bedroom window and wake me because I want you to give me a hand to turn the mattress.
• Please knock. My TV's broken down and I missed last night's Coronation Street. If you saw it, will you tell me what happened over a cup of tea.

 

[Lioncrunch]

Milkman, my husbands away please knock me up?

 

[Molly 3]

Yesterday I accidentally drove into my neighbors drive ,and drove into a tree that I don't have .