Fun With A Pun

I put a new freezer next to the refrigerator, now they're just chilling.
 
I accidentally broke my terrapins glass tank yesterday. It was a turtle disaster.
 
My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving

 
My socks got really holy. I can only wear them to church
 
A patient bursts into a doctor’s office, "Doctor, I believe I'm a deck of cards!"

The doctor calmly replies, "Go sit in the waiting room, please, I'll be dealing with you later."
 
I just got a new fridge magnet,so far I've got seven fridges...
 
Thieves had broken into my house and stolen everything except my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant. Dirty Bastards.
 
To the mathematicians who thought of the idea of zero, thanks for nothing!
 
This morning some clown opened the door for me. I thought to myself that's a nice Jester.
 
Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar. You can't tell me that's just a coincidence!
 
Annabel was Red Riding Hood in the school panto and Bert was a tree in the panto forest.
As the final curtain fell Annabel gave a little curtsey and Bert gave the audience a bough.

Colin ???
 
The shovel was a ground breaking invention, but everyone was blow away by the leaf blower
 
There are definitely too many adverts these days about funerals. That's the last thing any of us needs.
 
Ryanair are now charging extra for emotional baggage...
 
A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.
 
Why couldn't the bike stand up on it's own? It was two tired.
 
A book just fell on my head. I've only got myshelf to blame.
 
Tes;n21829 said:
My math teacher called me average. How mean!

That's a cracker, Tes! I laughed out loud.

Colin ???
 

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